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I learned how to snowboard in the 5th grade. My cousins and I woke up at 4 am and piled into their family Chrysler minivan and began the 6 hour trek to somewhere in upstate New York. I hardly slept because I was so jazzed to experience what my cousins were raving about. From the speed down the mountain to the burgers and cokes at Fuddruckers later that night somewhere on the LIE. Eager to keep up I went quickly through the rental process completely ignoring the sweating and anxiety I was feeling about going down the mountain. I scooted myself to the chairlift, held the bars with a death grip and reluctantly slid away from the chairlift at the top of the mountain. It was in this moment I realized I had made a big mistake.  I had told the rental guy that I prefer my right foot forward but I had been surfing and skating with my left foot forward my whole life. Instead of causing more of a ruckus because I was already slowing the pack down I decided to suck it up and figure it out. I learned to switch the foot forward but always staying on my heels. I was capable of keeping up but I wasn't enjoying the process because I couldn't make big graceful turns with my momentum. I had to put the brakes on every time I switched from one foot forward to the other foot forward. This remained my methodology for four more years making every snowboard trip a rocky one. I didn't know what I was doing, it wasn't that much fun braking the whole way down and I felt like a fraud.

Skip to visiting my brother in Boulder in the 9th grade where we went for a May snowboard session. He watched me struggle for a short period of time and then thankfully stopped me. Unlike my friends he was willing to tell me I was doing it all wrong. "Beck, pretend you’re going to fall down the mountain. Put ALL of your weight into your front foot. You have to commit to it."

My fear wanted to keep me close to the earth with my body weight in my heels. When I acknowledged the truth of the matter I DECIDED to commit to going down the mountain and put all of my weight into the front foot. This allowed me the ability to easily maneuver the board with my back foot in complete control of when and how hard I could turn. WOW!!! All of my power and skill showed up in one minute as soon as I decided to go down the mountain and not hug the mountain. Soon my brother changed the settings of the bindings so I could go goofy and regular. In one coming to Jesus session I was riding 1000 times better than when I had started that day. 

I have tried my best to apply this experience to my life. The times in which I have found myself struggling the most were the times in which I was holding an element of doubt or fear and hugging the mountain. One foot in and one foot out. It was either I cared what other people thought, I was going for something I thought I should go for and didn’t want, and possibly the most paralyzing, I didn't think I was good enough to do it.

2019 is getting a lot of play with it being the big New Year, the new you, the better you, etc. Setting goals and sticking to them can be good but there is a great deal of suffering inside when you are not 100% on board with your goals, or ideals of what you want. Instead of shooting for being "better" ask yourself if you are on board with your decisions. Do you want to grow as quickly as you say you do? Do you want to step into the more that is you? Anxiety is when the mind is pushing forward but the body is not ready. I wasn't ready to go down that mountain the first time and the experience was brutal. If I had not cared what the others would think, if I had taken the time to get prepared to go down the mountain with the right bindings, the whole experience may have been more pleasurable. Instead my ego (mind) forced me to go through with it. Years later I was more than ready and it only took two sentences to help me make the shift. 

Your power of influence begins by recognition of the doubts and fears you are holding space for in your life. Meditation is a tool to help you see the patterns that are not serving you anymore because meditation can give you a break from your mind. Simply watch your mind as observer. You may be able to recognize that your fears and doubts are coming from the mind and not the body. Your mind is the representative of your ego which is built to create suffering, aka indecision. It is the analytical tool that scours for the possible negative option and focuses on that option again and again, creating an electric charge to it. That electric charge becomes more and more powerful and soon it is a full blown fear and if focused upon long enough, the fear manifests. Jane Roberts said it best, "Your thoughts create your reality." Not magically, not accidentally, but by the energetic charge you created for it. Think about how often you hear someone telling you they experienced their worst fear. It is not by chance but by an energetic invitation. 

Getting connected to your hot bod is the key to relinquishing the power your mind has over you. The body is the access point to your higher self which knows what is in your best interest. When you find yourself suffering with indecision, do the practices that get you back into your body. Yoga, meditation, hot shower, sex, good food, breathing, etc. Use these as tools to bring your awareness back into your body in order to find the answers to your questions. Do not forget though that the mind will want to control your decisions and run the analytics of your life. Break the patterns of the mind by loosing yourself into body movement, body expression, body pleasure, body experience.  

I do Theta Healing with people on a daily basis and some days my clients want me to guide them into the best decision for their life. They ask me to tell me which way they should go so that they can avoid suffering. What I find myself saying again and again is that it doesn't so much matter what path is chosen but being wholeheartedly on the path chosen. There is no wrong choice or path. If we all believed this a little more we wouldn't be so afraid to make a choice. We wouldn't sit in our own mental suffering of indecision, paralyzation, or regret. 

So, moral of the story is if you want to go down the mountain with grace and speed, get yourself fully on board and commit to the decision. If you have found yourself at the top of the mountain and you do not want to go down on a snowboard, find yourself a snow mobile and get down safely. Own it. If you decide to stay at the lodge and sip hot chocolate, commit to it. Own that decision and bask in the glory of being in the lodge. The judgements in your mind are the only thing that can get in the way of your pure joy. 

#YouAreEnough #theVLife #AllTheWay

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